I’ve heard it said that you should only make other people as important as they make you, love them as much as they love you and treat them as they treat you. I’m guilty of doing that sometimes. But thats not agape love. God loves all of us equally, even those who don’t know/love him. So I’ll do the same, and hopefully not get walked all over.

That is what I want to talk about. I want to encourage you to love and let love. Before I go further, allow me to express my heart Biblically. First, where I’m coming from:

But we don’t need to write to you about the importance of loving each other, for God himself has taught you to love one another. Indeed, you already show your love for all the believers throughout Macedonia [or insert your community here]. Even so, dear brothers and sisters, we urge you to love them even more. – 1 Thessalonians 4:9-10

Second, where I want to go:

So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. – Colossians 3:12-14

You see love is like spiritual Elmer’s glue. It bonds all these other great practices we should already be doing. And I’m not talking about romance or infatuation. Those are fleeting emotions we often substitute or mistake for love. They’re important and have their place but that’s not what I want to focus on. I’m reminded how Lauren Hill (musician) once remarked at a concert: “Fantasy is what people want, but reality is what they need.” For this discussion, I intend to give you what you need.

One such thing is that I’ve realized love is much less an emotion and very much an action. In fact, it is an action every Christian, the very people who are supposed to epitomize love, fails to reflect on a regular basis. Not for lack of trying or intention, mind you. Nor is it just Christians. In fact, it’s remarkable how all of humanity will selectively choose to love specific people and exclude others based on one specific and individually unique variable: sunglasses. But I’ll get to that in moment. Let us focus what love is.

LOVE

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. – 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Sound familiar? How about this: did you notice most of the definition of love alludes trial or difficulty with those whom you love? Think about “patients” at the top of the list. Who really enjoys being patient with someone? When was the last time you enjoyed having your patients tried? And I find it interesting that “kind” is listed immediately after “patients.” I could go down the entire list explaining how each description implies some sort of negative on the other end. Especially the last bit about enduring everything that might come up. By definition love not only commands 100% selflessness, it demands action.

Jesus himself said that there is no greater love than for a man to lay down his life for another. This doesn’t necessarily mean death (could be) but there are many other ways one can give up their life for another. Consider a single parent who sacrifices potential success to invest in the life of her child. My point here is that for most of us when we talk about love we have no idea how heavy the subject really is; how much discipline and, at times, shear will power is involved to love another person.

In the Bible, Christ made it pretty clear that he comes first and then everyone else; love the Lord your God first and then love your neighbor (Matthew 22:37-39, Mark 12:30-31, Luke 10:27). But don’t just love them; love them at minimum as much as you love yourself. With some people this is easy to accommodate and with others, more difficult. It’s easy to love the lovable and like the likable. It’s something completely different when you find them disagreeable.

What’s funny is one person might find a thing disagreeable while another finds it perfectly acceptable. As I said before: it’s the sunglasses – the lens by which we view the world. It’s our perspective on life and our cultural barrier; the very thing that comes between the way things are and the way we want them to be. To illustrate this, below you’ll find several optical illusions.

(click to enlarge and experience the full effect)

We do not see things the way they are but as we are. – Jewish proverb

Sticking with our fantasy is much easier then facing our reality. We see what we want and believe what we want because it’s convenient to do so. But this is changeable.

Our personal “culture shades” have such a phenomenal influence on our day-to-day perspective. We use them to judge the world around us and, too often, use them as a condemnation tool. We associate and disassociate with people based on how we see them. Someone isn’t how we think they should be therefore who they are or what they are doing is automatically categorized as “bad.” As Christians, we’re notorious for this.

We condemn people for their life style choices. We judge those who are different than us just because they’re different. We even go so far as to assess another Christians spiritual walk, as if we are the yard stick to which they should be measured. All of this is because we choose to wear these filters in front of our eyes instead of loving people where they are at without the expectation of changing them or comparing them to how we think they should be. With the shades on there is no room for love.

God’s love to me is inexhaustible, and I must love others from the bedrock of God’s love to me. Growth in grace stops the moment I get huffed. I get huffed because I have a peculiar person to live with. Just think how disagreeable I have been to God! … Neither natural love nor Divine love will remain unless it is cultivated. Love is spontaneous, but it has to be maintained by disciplined. – Oswald Chambers

It’s not easy. It takes work. Love isn’t a feeling, it’s an action. Indeed, you already show your love for everyone throughout your community but even so, dear brothers and sister, I urge you to love them even more!

In our struggle to love each other, I have an approach that will be old news for some of you and novel for the rest. I want you to take off your sunglasses and accept people as they are, tossing aside how you think they should be. We are all imperfect. We all have our baggage (or carry-on’s, w/e). Christ commanded us to love as he has loved. If man looks at the outward appearance all they’re going to see is baggage (or how well we can disguise it). But the Lord looks at the heart, and to love as Christ loves we must also know the heart of a person. We cannot do this with our shades on.

As humans, we naturally are drawn toward stuff we understand and fear that which we do not understand. Often times we also fear the process of understanding because it forces us to lower our guard and examine not only the unknown, but what we think we already know about ourselves; makes us vulnerable. It’s not easy. But since when is love ever easy? (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

If you don’t want to be challenged, you might want to stop reading now … otherwise here is my challenge to you:

LET LOVE

So we’ve talked about love and what love is, but if you’ve made it this far I know you’re just dying to ask, “how do I implement this in my daily life?” How do I let love out of my life and give it to the people around me. Well, like I’ve already mentioned, the first thing you need to do is take off your freak’n sunglasses, accept people as they are, and get to know their heart. Let’s start with something on the easy side. It may require you to step out of your comfort zone, but welcome to Christ.

Suggestion #1: Breach the community barriers

Earnestly think of people you know fairly well that have good ties with individuals within a social network outside of your own: frats / sororities, school clubs, sports teams, bowling league, martial arts class, weight lifting, sailing, hiking, book reading, bar hopping, hookah smoking … whatever suits your fancy. Pray about which one you feel God is leading you toward then make time to hang out with that person (Christian or not) amongst their network of friends. Ask God to use you in meeting the needs of those within this group. And since your own shades are off, learn their culture, lifestyle, and way of doing things. It might be different than what you’re used to and at times shocking, but adaptation and sensitivity is crucial.

When I was with the Jews, I lived like a Jew to bring the jews to Christ. When I was with those who followed the Jewish law, I too lived under that law. Even though I am not subject to the law, I did this so I could bring to Christ those who are under the law. When I am with the Gentiles who do not follow the Jewish law, I too live apart from that law so I can bring them to Christ. But I do not ignore the law of God; I obey the law of Christ. – 1 Corinthians 9:20-21

Do as they do and take part in their community all the while maintaining the laws of Christ. If you do this, go in with the mentality to love those within the community. Don’t try to save or change them. That is not your job. It’s “above your pay grade” so to speak. Just love, respect, and serve their needs and they will see Christ’s love in you.

Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples. – John 13:35

For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love. – Galatians 5:13

Suggestion #2: Safety Circle

Another suggestion that’s perhaps a little more difficult but equally important would be to focus on your current community. A need we all have is to be accepted and on a human level it’s very hard to accept someone we already find disagreeable, even if only partially so. You can begin to by giving them the gift of a clean slate; erase the record of suffering they caused you. Forgive them, reconcile … do whatever it is that you need to do to simply accept them, meet their needs, and begin to know their heart. When you have a history with people, this is much harder. I’m brought back to humility though when I think of “let he who is without sin cast the first stone” or that frequently used verse about the speck in your friends eye and the plank in your own.

Suggestion #3: Ask

My final suggestion, although by no means the end of the list, is very difficult. It will kick any remaining pride and pious out the door. I want you to think of two people. I want the first person to be the person you currently love the most in your life. The second person should be a family member. If first happens to be a family member, awesome. Make the second person a different family member. The next time you’re with those two people I want you to ask one of two questions.

If you’re feeling moderately brave I recommend you ask “How can I be a better [friend, husband, wife, son, daughter, sibling, etc.] to you?”

If you’re feeling particularly courageous I recommend asking this: “How can I love you more?” It’s probably one of the most powerful things you will have ever asked them.

Love comes when manipulation stops; when you think more about the other person than about his or her reactions to you. When you dare to reveal yourself fully. When you dare to be vulnerable. – C. S. Lewis

Dare to be vulnerable!

First thing to note is that they tended to focus a great deal on the character of a man rather than his physical appearance.  Secondly, manly men were often described using a single word.  Our list is consolidated, so you may find the “multi-word” section to be longer only because it’s harder to group.  Thirdly, while many women have a preconceived idea of what their ideal man would be (or is) there are a few themes that were communicated across the board.

Also, interesting to note, these characteristics can be directly tied to the most significant man in that womans life (father, husband, etc.)  The delivery of the descriptive word would also indicate two things: 1. their level of experience with that descriptor and 2. if they were given or denied that descriptor.  As a general analysis, whenever there was a “no” or a “not” before the descriptor, it was a dead giveaway the woman was drawing from a negative experience.

One Word Descriptors (bold = recurring theme across the board)

1. accepting
2. appreciative
3. caring
4. charitable
5. compassionate
6. considerate
7. dependable
8. faithful
9. flexibility
10. funny
11. generous
12. gentle (of actions and deeds)
13. gentleman
14. gracious
15. happy
16. helpful
17. honest
18. honorable
19. intelligent
20. kind
21. leader
22. loving
23. mature
24. optimistic
25. protect
26. provider
27. respectful
28. responsible
29. righteous
30. selfless
31. sensitive
32. sharing
33. sociable
34. spiritual
35. strong
36. thoughtful

Multi-word Descriptors

1. able to compliment the relationship and brings out the best in others
2. a man appreciates and takes care of what he has
3. a man steps up to challenges
4. a real man allows his woman to dress him
5. be true and be honest even if it’s against himself
6. clean of mind / body
7. follows God’s heart
8. gotta have balls
9. hard worker
10. has to have balance in everything he does
11. hears wife out
12. high moral standards
13. knows their purpose in life
14. know what he wants
15. law abiding
16. love for family
17. make time for family and friends
18. no ego
19. not abusive (action or language)
20. not a womanizer
21. no temper
22. not jealous
23. not lazy
24. not obsessive
25. not possessive
26. not racist
27. not too sensitive
28. one that can cry
29. protects the family
30. provide for family
31. puts family before friends
32. sense of humor
33. shows feelings
34. some ambition
35. someone who assumes, understands, and embraces his responsibilities as far as family, work, purpose, and ethics
36. stands up for himself and loved ones – wife and children – and protects them
37. understanding God’s grace
38. understanding to the needs of his wife
39. understanding your wife
40. value and appreciate what you have
41. willing to fight for what he wants and what he believes in
42. your friend

We found this list rather daunting.  Some of it is super easy while other things seem like lifetime achievements rather than character traits.  Now that we had an idea of what modern women think men should be, we decided to compare that list against Biblical men.  King David would be the obvious choice.  After all he was a man after God’s own heart!  But we selected someone else: Job.

Never heard of the guy / don’t know his story?  Well, if you have your Bible handy turn to the appropriately named book “Job” and take a gander.  His whole tragedy begins by explaining how awesome he is:

1. blameless (Job 1:1)
2. upright (Job 1:1)
3. God fearing (Job 1:1)
4. turned away from evil (Job 1:1)
5. selfless (Job 1:5)
6. humble (Job 1:20-22)
7. integrity (Job 2:3)
8. honest ( the entire book of Job)
9. faithful (the entire book of Job)

Something that struck me a little funny is when God essentially tells  Job “grow a pair” with verses like “gird up your loins like a man…” (Job 40:7a).  Not a far reach from #8 on the multi-word descriptor list.  Now I’m not saying Job is the end-all example of a real man, but considering God himself was really happy with Jobs character, I would say its a fair starting point.

Very interesting to see how the 3 lists compare.  Some of the bold items aren’t even in jobs list, and some on jobs list aren’t in bold … but others are identical.  We can’t decide which is easier to live by, but since when was character develpment ever easy?

If you’re perfect, don’t waste your time. He has more important things to do. But if you, like the rest of us, leave a bit to be desired … you would be hard pressed to find a more trustworthy person.

Lesson #1

It’s not what you have to take care of, but how you take care of what you have.

Honda Civic man totally understood this. He didn’t have a Ferrari, but he did what he could given what he had

No doubt luxuries are cool and they have their place, but it’s more important that you are diligent with blessings and responsibilities you have. There is something about appreciating things in your life by rendering over your time that brings joy and satisfaction, but not necessarily instant elation.

This might extend to things like practicing an instrument, changing the oil yourself, repairing the gadget instead of purchasing a new one, or it may transcend into your relationships with people. How often have we given up on a friend because they hurt us real bad or just were negligent with hangout times? Compared to mending that relationship, jumping ship and finding a new one to board is way easier. But is it better?

Sadly, lesson two came up a few days later. I got a call early Sunday morning with news fated for everyones ears sooner or later, but even knowing isn’t enough. The message explained that a family member of said friend had died.

Lesson #2

Appreciation is not something that should gather dust in a pantry.

It’s funny.  No matter how often it’s served, people still eat it up.

Here’s an interesting comic a friend shared with me the other day:

I took multiple critical reasoning courses in college so things like this REALLY intrigue me! A few people with whom I’ve shared this comic strip have gotten offended. But to the conscious and critical mind, there is nothing inherently offensive here. In fact being offended oftentimes is simply a result of one’s world view being challenged. And that was the author’s point: to challenge previously held beliefs and preconceived notions.

Personally, I’ve been persuaded that such challenges– provided they’re sincerely contemplated and not categorically rejected– either strengthen my perspective or ultimately improve it. We can’t get any closer to a more complete knowledge of God without questioning and challenging what we already believe. So allow yourself to be challenged…

It’s astonishing how little critical thought occurs on a typical Sunday Morning; most sermons and Bible studies are aimed at reinforcing the same adages and axioms. By failing to encourage Christians to delve deeper into spiritual thought, the church seems content in fostering superficial faith based on conventional wisdom. But certainly God is hardly satisfied with the superficial.

1.) Does God have faith in anything? Quick answer, nope. “Faith,” as I understand it, is a belief without facts to affirm that belief. Faith cannot exist in the presence of certainty. Thus if God is infinite and omniscient, what use has God for faith?

But COULD God have faith? In other words, is God truly infinite (“can He create a rock so big he couldn’t carry it” kind of thing)? That is a brilliant and frequently argued idea. The answer is not as straightforward and I’ll answer it at the end of this blog. Skip to #3 now if you want to read it.

2.) Is God an atheist? No. The absence of faith does not automatically make one an atheist, and that’s the error committed in the above comic strip. Atheism in and of itself actually requires a considerable degree of faith. There is no real fact or evidence disproving the existence of God in some form, therefore the atheist’s outright denial of God’s existence is an article of faith. If God has no faith, he cannot be an atheist.

Nor is he agnostic for that matter. The doctrine of agnosticism is defined, at least in part, as an acceptance of uncertainty regarding the absolute truths of God’s existence or nature. While agnosticism requires no faith, it requires imperfect knowledge– and, in this case by definition, God’s omniscience negates uncertainty.

Ultimately the real question raised (although not addressed) by this comic strip is whether or not God is truly infinite and omniscient.

3.) THE BIG QUESTION: is God truly infinite and omniscient?

I need to establish this generic principle that can be found throughout nature and science: a thing or system of things cannot create another thing or system of things more complicated than itself. There are tons of examples for this and it’s seriously another blog within itself. I won’t go into too much detail. However, knowing this helps a little.

We live in a physical universe. Keeping the above principle in mind we can safely assume that God is either equally or more complex than the universe. The previous sentence suggests God created the universe. How he chose to do that is a mystery, however we can safely assume (given the law of thermodynamics) that He was involved since something cannot come from nothing (above principle).

Does God have limitations? Perhaps. I mean, he is either bound to the infinite (can do anything) or bound to the finite (can’t do everything). But here’s where things get weird, all these arguments assume a physical realm; a place bound by the laws of this universe. Is it possible the creator of something exists outside the creation?

Think of it this way. Lets say I make a game with specific rules on how the game is to function. I can interact with that game as I wish, but I myself am not bound to the rules of that game nor is my existence determined by the games existence. But when I do choose to influence the game play, I abide by my own rules. God is no different.

So can God create a rock heavy enough that he can’t pick it up? Well, that’s like multiplying a positive number with a negative number; you always get a negative no matter what you do. The question assumes God is bound by the physical world. The question itself “Begs the question” and is logically fallacious … it posses an inquiry with a predetermined assumption (God is bound to the physical laws of this universe) and outcome (he is limited in some way). The question is asking you to multiply 1 by -1 and try and prove it equals anything but -1.

Is it then impossible for God to have faith? I would argue no. If God chose to abide by human finiteness, he definitely could have the potential of faith. God does what he does and chooses what he chooses and many times it’s WAY beyond our finite brains. The reality of it is, God can both be finite and infinite simultaneously. Completely limited and limitless all at once just as I can participate in my created game and exist outside of it.

AMMENDMENT (Sep. 25, 2008)
After talking with a philosopher (Matt), he made a point about the above argument I deemed worthy of sharing:

#1 – While the above remains true, a simpler explanation is available

#2 – This also apply’s to “Can God be an atheist” but for the sake of reading time, I will not use it as an example.  However, the explanation easily applies to this question for the same reasons listed below.

#3 – If a person asks “Can God make a rock so big…” then they have a poor understanding of the word Omnipotent and the rest of the argument falls apart.

Here’s how he broke it down for me.  Omnipotent means all powerful, yes, but in reference to the possible.  If it is possible, then an omnipotent being could do it.  Omnipotnent does not reference mutually exclusive events (the impossible).  Because the question is based on an assumed premise that God is omnipotent and then follows up with a mutually exclusive question, the argument is meaningless.

It’s like asking “Can God make a square a circle.”  They are two mutually exclusive events.  You cannot be at your computer and not at your computer simultaneously.  Mutual exclusivity does not exist within our universe.

C.S. Lewis says it like this:

His Omnipotence means power to do all that is intrinsically possible, not to do the intrinsically impossible. You may attribute miracles to Him, but not nonsense. This is no limit to His power. If you choose to say ‘God can give a creature fee will and at the same time withhold free will from it,’ you have not succeeded in saying anything about God: meaningless combinations of words do not suddenly acquire meaning simply because we prefix to them the two other words ‘God can.’… It is no more possible for God than for the weakest of His creatures to carry out both of two mutually exclusive alternatives; not because His power meets an obstacle, but because nonsense remains nonsense even when we talk it about God.

some serious repenting action hit me in the last 24 hrs…

i just wanna say sorry Father above…

guys in Badfish… pray for me… please. Love you dudes… No Homo! haha

call if me if u wanna talk

All I gotta say is Nolan is one cool fella…

For those who dont know him, I can officially say I love this dude (no-homo). We dont hang all the time but when our group of men meet weekly I am always stoked he is there.

He has grown like crazy and its great to see how close/personal we are all getting with eachother.
Just wanted to share some thought

Todd was late for church.

“Goddammit!” Todd said, circling the parking lot for the third time.

“You know what?” Todd thought to himself, “Screw it.” He pulled his Range Rover into a handicap parking spot and killed the engine. “Jesus could heal the crippled. Maybe he can help them find parking.”

He studied himself in the rearview mirror, making sure that his tie was straight and then giving himself a sly smirk upon realizing how sharp he thought he looked. “I’m looking sharp,” he thought.

Hurrying towards the sanctuary, Todd glanced at his watch. He was almost half hour late. Surely his wife would be none too pleased. “Tiffany’s gonna bitch,” he thought, “I’m never gonna hear the end of this one.”

When Todd walked in, Pastor Mike was already halfway through his sermon. It was something about something called the Beatitudes, and Todd was pretty happy that he missed the first half of it. Pastor Mike’s sermons could be really really boring sometimes. He was sorry that he missed worship, however, because the blond girl who leads the worship team is really, really hot. Tiffany gave him a look that confirmed Todd’s fears that she was going to bitch at him and that he would, in fact, never hear the end of this one.

After Pastor Mike’s sermon was over, finally, he asked for the congregation to bow their heads for a moment of silent prayer. Todd closed his eyes, and began wondering what the score of the Niners game was. He needed them to win by at least six-and-a-half points. Then he remembered he was supposed to be praying. “Oops… Dear Jesus, please smite the homosexuals and get rid of all the Muslims. Oh, and, if it’s not too much to ask, can you please do something about the Mexicans?”

“Amen,” said Pastor Mike.

Pastor Mike explained that the time had come to pass the collection plate. He said it was especially important because of some missionaries in some country Todd had never heard of needed it to feed some children or something. The ushers came forward, took the collection plates, and quickly surrounded the congregation.

When the ushers came to the pew before the one where Todd was sitting, Todd reached into his wallet to see what he was could leave for God as a tip. He saw a five dollar bill and three singles. Todd pulled out the three singles and reached for an envelope so no one would see that he only left three dollars. But then, Todd started to think.

“You know what I think?” thought Todd. “I think I’m gonna leave a lil’ somethin extra this week. It sure has been a nice week; the weather’s been real nice, and the kids haven’t gotten outta line.” Todd reached back into his wallet for the five dollar bill. He put the three singles back in.

“I’ll tell you what, big guy,” he said to himself, using “Big Guy” as a euphemism for the creator of the universe. “There’s plenty more where that came from, as long as you keep Tiffany off my back for bein late to church, and make sure the Niners beat the spread. And see if you might be to squeeze in a couple rounds of golf for me this week.”

The collection plate passed in front of Todd. He placed the five dollar bill in the collection plate. “Keep up the good work, buddy.” Suddenly he began to wonder if God had to split his tips with Jesus and the Holy Spirit. He began to think he should’ve given all eight bucks. He remembered back to his days waiting tables at TGIFriday’s. Five bucks really ain’t much, he thought, if God still has to tip out Pastor Mike, the altar boys, and the lady who plays piano whose name Todd couldn’t remember. He told God that he’d get him back next week.

Todd glanced at the program to see what was next. It was the Benediction. Todd didn’t know what a benediction was, but he knew it was favorite part of the church service because it meant that the service was over. The congregation stood up, and Pastor Mike raised his hands and said a prayer. After he said Amen he invited everyone to the church softball game to see if they would beat the Episcopalians.

This article by no means was intended to condemn, judge, or dispute the morality of what I’m about to talk about. Rather, it was intended to encourage you to be open with others about the struggles you have. If you haven’t figured it out yet, I’m going to be talking about sex, or rather “sexual impurity.” And this subject is really fascinating because it’s something EVERY Christian struggles with yet it’s the shame that keeps us from seeking the support we need. I’m sure some of you by now are like “Oh, I can already tell this won’t apply to me.” HA. Think you’re immune? You are so wrong.

Ok, so here’s a real quick review of Christianity

1. No one is righteous. If God is the standard, we fall short.
2. All have sinned. If we are human, we were born into sin. Lucky us.
3. The consequence to sin is eternal separation from God via death, hell, and the whole shabang.
4. Jesus came and covered our butts. He basically fills in the gap between God and us / pays the penalty (consequence) on our behalf.
5. It is through our belief in Jesus that we are made righteous, pure, and holy enough for God and worthy of Heaven.

This of course is very simplified, but you get the idea. What I’m trying to get across is that God does not delineate between sins. He doesn’t say “Well, sin A is WAY worse than sin B and deserves a second penalty of extra death.” No. Sin is sin regardless of what it looks like. It is simply disobeying God. If God tells me to go talk with someone and I do not, I deserve the same consequence as the guy who’s cheating on his wife. Kind of seems merciless, but keep in mind we do have that Jesus guy.

So why is sexual sin so different? Why do we treat it like a plague; something everyone knows exists, yet hates to talk about? Why do we keep sexual struggles hidden from the people who can help us the most?

Social stigma. It may not be that different from another sin according to God, but according to society … oh yea. Think about it. Women are afraid of being labeled a “slut” and men are afraid of being called “perverts.” Even within the safest Christian community we’re given a finger-wagging talk about sex and how its bad and how the people themselves who do it are evil. Of course, lets just ignore how you came to be in the first place. It’s made out to be like this modern day forbidden fruit.

One thing that kind of sucks is that the Bible isn’t really specific when it comes sexual impurity. I’ve looked and it doesn’t mention second-base or third-base anywhere. It doesn’t talk about masturbation. It makes no mention of pornography. It would be so much easier if it outright said “HEY, DON’T DO THAT” but it doesn’t.

Given all that, what is sexual impurity? I had a friend who once asked, “If God really thinks sex is a sin, then why’d he make me so good at it?” We were joking around of course and had a good laugh, in part because God doesn’t think sex is a sin and just because you have sex within a marriage doesn’t make it not a sin. Right about now you’re probably going “huh?” but let me explain. Sexual impurity is when we seek physical pleasure to replace the pleasure we get from seeking God. It’s when we look to other people for the intimacy and acceptance that we should be getting from Him. It’s a cheap substitute. When we indulge in sexual impurity, essentially what we’re telling God is that “Hey, buddy, I can satisfy myself so thanks for the effort, but I’ll take it from here.” We communicate that we do not need him any longer, and of course we all know this to be untrue.

Basically, it’s the heart behind the act rather than the act itself. And this principle isn’t limited to just sex either. It can happen with money, drugs, alcohol, food, facebook, computer games, relationships, or whatever we use to fill that emptiness inside of us and numb it into contentment. This is all driven of course by that deep rooted incomplete feeling that exists inside of everyone. In it’s most basic form, we are trying to fill a void only God can fill.

At the beginning of this article I laughed at the people who thought they were immune. In reality, this is something with which we all struggle. I am no exception. I was exposed to pornography as a little kid. The inciting incident is a bit ironic really. I was watching Veggie Tales late at night at my grandparents house and at the end when I turned off the VCR … BAM … a fuzzy cable station immediately inundated my mind with a part of life that until that moment had completely eluded me.

The shame of what I chose to continue watching that evening kept me from being open and honest about the experience. A pattern soon developed and from that moment on I was slowly seduced into the world of lust, porn, and masturbation. To this day I battle the constant onslaught of temptation. There are times when I am strong and others when I feel like an idiot for doing the same crap over and over again. Until recently it was the shame that held me back from seeking the counsel and support of friends and fellow Christians. BUT WHAT THE HELL DO WE HAVE TO BE ASHAMED OF?!

We’ve all got a past. We all have baggage and crap we carry around with us. We need to STOP TRYING TO KEEP OUR IMPERFECTION HIDDEN, and LEARN TO LOVE ONE ANOTHER IN SPITE OF THOSE IMPERFECTIONS. If we try to live as if we are innocent, we live ignorantly. In other words, get over yourself. You’re not fooling anyone, and you’re only making it harder on yourself.

Oswald Chambers was a minister and teacher around the beginning of the 20th Century. I think he put it quite well:

“Purity is not innocence, it is much more. Purity is the outcome of sustained spiritual sympathy with God. We have to grow in purity. The life with God may be right and the inner purity remain unsullied and yet every now and again the bloom on the outside may be sullied. God does not shield us from this possibility, because in this way we realize the necessity of maintaining the vision by personal purity.”

We are imperfect. Perfection is something we will never have on this earth. That’s kind of why that Jewish carpenter known as Jesus bar-Joseph was nailed to a tree. If we were perfect, there would be no need for a savior. Purity is not the lack of imperfection but rather the constant whole hearted unabashed and childlike pursuit for God. We were born unclean. Don’t get hung up on or allow one addictive hurtle to knock you down. Pick yourself up, raise your chest high, know who you are in Christ and do not let the shame others put on you hold you back from pursuing God and being transparent with friends about your struggles. Even the longest journey begins with a single step.

Keep it real. Amen.